Once She Left Hell
by Kookie Thief
Summary: Macie was in hell for the first 17 years of her life. She was locked up like a pet bird, treated like an experiment, and was one of S.H.E.I.L.D.'s secrets. And then suddenly one night this psycho came along and snatched her out. Once she left Hell she ran around, quickly becoming Deadpool's side kick on her journey to keep a promise she made a long time ago. Co author:aceofspiders
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Ok before I start I need to do a little explaining,

"_This is Babbles" _the voice in Macie's head that is random and crazy, Babbles makes it hard for Macie to have regular conversations. Babbles is actually based on different ideas and plans I (the author) have been spouting off.

"**This is Baddie" **the voice in Macie's head that is murderous. Baddie is the voice that thinks killing and violence are the answer to everything. Baddie talks less, but when she does Macie has a hard time telling her no.

I hope you enjoy my little story.

It was a dark night; the stars shone brightly in the Michigan sky. Macie was sprawled across her bed, resting her chin on her arms in her windowsill. The teen closed her eyes as she felt a light breeze, it stirred up the brown hair around her shoulders. Her face was lean and pale, and she wore a long flowing white dress that made her thin pale arms and legs appear longer than they were. Her green eyes were abnormally large and very green. The window overlooked a dirty, stinking alley way filled with trash cans and litter.

_Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer! _

"Oh Babbles, we just listened to this song, would you stop!" Macie said quietly. She didn't bother to open her eyes; she wasn't talking to a real person anyway.

_Oh but it's a good song! _

The teen's green eyes slowly opened.

"Sing something else," the brunette grumbled, her gaze cut off by narrowly spaced metal bars fitted to the window. Macie sighed, reaching up and yanking the brunette wig off her head, rubbing the short blonde stubble that covered her head. The baldie unceremoniously dumped the wig on the bed. She owned at least a hundred of them and so she didn't mind if one was tangled.

_What am I supposed to do? We have been sitting at this same window every night for years! Another makeover? More online shopping? _

**We could escape. These people aren't equipped to stop you, just blast them off the face of the planet and we can be on our way. **

The girl made an angry huffing sound and slapped a slightly scarred pale hand over her red scarred right ear. Her green eyes flashed and her pale face flushed bright red.

**We could you know. Just blast them all, nothing too fancy, just burn their bones. **

Macie shook her head, trying to rid herself of the horribly satisfying mental image of burned corpses.

"Shut up! I need to be in here and you know it."

_Yeah but if we left we could go all vigilante! We could be a superhero! We could hang with the Fantastic Four. What would we call ourselves though? Sun-child! No no no. Macie we need a name! _

Before the insane teen could answer there was a thud, like someone falling from a great height. Macie ignored Babbles and peered through the bars on her window.

**I still say we burn them and leave this dumpy place. **

"Baddie, shut up okay? I heard something."The voice made an angry sound but stopped talking. All three of the people in Macie's head were quiet while the teen strained to hear. Suddenly there was shouting and a man came flying down the alley.

_OHHHHH I wonder what kinda fight we will get to see tonight, man I love living in Detroit. I mean we are in the far out suburbs but still. _

Macie ignored Babbles and watched the man in the alley slowly struggle to his feet. He wore the familiar red leather jacket of the Conquistadors, a gang that ran the entire west side of the suburb where Macie lived.

_Wo-ah! Who would try and beat on a Conquistador in this part of town?_

**Shoot him! Blast his sorry ass while he's down. **

Macie felt warmth gather in her right palm. She reached up and pressed the now hot skin to her right ear, burning herself severely. The skin of her ear was thick and scarred, like she burned it with her own power frequently, and that's what she did. A gunshot rang through the alleyway. When the initial bang faded away, there were words.

"Killstreak!" It was a man's voice, but he used a sing-songy falsetto. "That's ten in a row!" Macie removed her hand from her ear. A soft yellow glow was pulsing out of her hand, but Macie was so accustomed to glowing she didn't even notice. Just then another gunshot rang out, and a large man backflipped into sight. He wore a red and black full body suit, including a mask. He held two handguns, one still smoking.

"Well looks like you weren't as tough as you thought, big man." The man bounced up on his toes, and giggled?

"This is fun, like a game, only way too easy. You guys are sooo not a challenge! Oh well, I still get paid so guess it doesn't matter in the end. "

_Light this up! I wanna watch Mr. Sexy in Spandex shoot dudes! _

A light of curiosity burned in Macie's eyes and so she brought her glowing palm even with her eyes. The superhuman took a deep breath. The light from her hand seemed to shift and pull. It gathered itself from her palm and then began to float. After a few seconds Macie puckered her thin lips and gently blew. The little ball of glowing heat rocketed into the sky above the alley, it stopped above the man in red and then exploded outward. The entire alley was lit up as if the alley had its own sun.

_Light the alley with our little sun, make the night into day! _Babbles sang, her voice cracking with excitement. The light revealed a whole group of the Conquistadors, at least thirty. The man in red looked up, revealing that his white eyes were ringed in black.

"The fuck is that?" His voice was now a deep gravelly rasp.

**What now, he's gonna realize you're up here and get you. Shoot him! You can do it. **

Macie slapped her hand over her ear and made an angry hissing sound.

"Shut. Up."

"Oh well," The gun toting manshrugged, now using a normal male voice,

"All the more light to kill you by, grandmas." The leather-clad gang members seemed shaken. Three or four of them were already down, their blood spreading across the dirty concrete of the alley way.

"That's it, you spandex freak! GET HIM!" The huge hulking leader of the crew of men brought a large shotgun to his shoulder and the familiar sound of gunfire shattered the air. Macie gasped and Babbles laughed. The man had dodged the bullet. One of his many belts of pouches however was torn and fell to the ground with a clatter.

"Ugh, that was real leather! I bought this as a gift for myself and you just shot it. Why can't you just lay down and die like the dog you are? I _really _need this pay out. I mean, Spidey's b-day is coming up." The man was like lightning; he leapt and spun his way between bullets and over trash cans until he reached the hulking leader, all while rambling on about how hard Spider-man was to shop for. He reached the red clad leader and before anyone could react there was a sword in his chest.

"_That _was for my belt, you little bitch." Macie was fascinated, and Babbles was losing her mind fangirling.

**Hey, get in on this, target practice. These Conquistadors deserve it, and no one will even think to look for an accomplice. **Gunshot after gunshot rang through the alley as leather clad corpses fell in droves before the red and black blur. Then Babbles shrieked,

_There's a sniper up there!_ Macie glanced up at the high fire escape across the alley.

**Take him. You can handle this shot. **There was a red jacketed sniper half hidden away, he was aiming a huge range rifle at the odd fighter in the alley.

_I agree with Baddie! We can't just let him shoot Mr. Sexy in Spandex! He's the only real entertainment we have had in a long time. _Macie started to breath hard, conflicted. She didn't want the man in the alley to die, but she didn't want to kill the guy on the fire escape.

**Just kill him! He's attempting murder! Just kill him! **

_Kill him! Kill him! Shoot him dead! _Macie slammed her right hand over her ear and raised her left hand, making a gun with two of her fingers and her thumb.

"I am not killing anyone!"A small light grew at the end of Macie's fingers as the heat raced from her heart to her hand. Then she took a deep breath and jerked her hand up, mimicking a gun's recoil.

_BANG! _Babbles screamed, giggling like a maniac. A small ball of light shot across the alley and rocketed up to slam into the man's leg. The leather-clad sniper screamed and slapped a hand over the gaping hole that appeared in his leg. Macie felt a smile tug at her lips. His scream made her heart pound.

**If that felt good, imagine blowing out his head. **Macie could see it, his brain splattered against the building, his very existence gone, all because of her. Macie made a growling sound and slammed her hand against her ear a few times.

"Stop!" Before she could say anything else another gunshot rang out. Macie's green eyes flashed back down to see the man in red and black clutching his chest. Blood dribbled out from under his hand.

"You know," he said irritably, but calm, "I just washed this, and my dry cleaning bill is ridiculous." The killer was surrounded by bodies and he was talking to the only Conquistador left alive. The swordsman brought his thin sword down in an arc and completely decapitated the shaking gang banger.

_That was SO COOL! _Babbles shrieked, laughing and prattling on about the strange man's many different moves. Macie watched the man, wide-eyed. He had a bullet in his chest and yet he was so calm.

**He didn't have any problems killing those scuz bags. **Macie slapped her ear again. The man was cleaning his sword of blood by wiping it on one of the Conquistadors' jacket. He wasn't clutching his chest any more and was actually whistling, the theme song to Golden Girls. He stood to his full height and Macie couldn't help but notice how very muscular he was. Babbles wolf-whistled. The tall man slowly made his way to stand under Macie's mini-sun. Still whistling, he whipped out a handgun from nowhere and shot the little light. When the bullet had no effect, the whistling stopped.

"The hell is this." He voice was still relaxed and the man cocked his head to one side, raising a masked eyebrow. He shot the light again, this time a few times in succession. Macie was impressed to see that he hadn't missed once.

"Okay. This is getting really annoying."

_Talk to him! He's gotta be cute under there! TALK TO HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. _

Macie watched as very apparent anger flashed across the man's face.

**He can get us out. If you refuse to kill them, he can. **

"I can turn it off." Macie cried, before she even realized she was talking. The man whipped around to face her window, gun pointed right at Macie's window.

"Yeah, that would be great, and you know maybe next time you shouldn't take away a guy's ele-" He was cut off as another gunshot rang out in the alley. In a spray of blood and saliva the masked man's entire lower jaw was shot off. Macie gasped, and Babbles screamed and then started to laugh. The man's tongue hung from his mutilated face, starting to twitch.

_He's trying to talk. OH. MY. GOD. _

He made a grunting sound and then whipped his head around. He spotted the sniper and whipped out another, larger, handgun. He shot, but the sniper had ducked behind a part of the fire escape that blocked the shot. Macie could see that the sniper was reloading and before she even thought she raised her hand and shot another light bullet, this one right through the sniper's hand. His scream echoed through the alley way and he collapsed against the railing of the fire escape, blood from his hand flowing fast and hot. Another gunshot and the sniper's brain was splattered all over the wall behind him. Macie's breath hitched at the mix of blood and gray matter.

**He isn't scared. **

Macie slapped her hand over her ear, forcing heat into her palm to make her own flesh sizzle.

"SHUT UP!" Macie screamed this time, fear causing her voice to tremble.

**WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DO IT. KILL THEM KILL HIM JUST BLOW THEM ALL AWAY AND THEN EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT. **The sound of sizzling flesh increased as Macie poured more heat into her palm.

"SHUT UP SHUT UP!"

"I didn't even say anything!" Macie gasped and glanced down; the masked man was giving her a very incredulous look. Macie's eyes grew wide in shock. Somehow his jaw was back. She had seen it blown off, and yet there he stood jaw and all. His mask was torn and so she could see that his skin was raw and pink.

"You really shouldn't yell at people like that; it's rude, you know." The man was holstering his guns, and walked casually over to his torn belt.

"Ugh, this was expensive! The leather was right from Cambodia. Dumbass gang banger ruined it.

_How did he? _Babbles was the first to recover her voice. _How is he- his jaw. THAT IS AWESOME. _Babbles lost it, going on and on about all the possible ways he managed to dodge the bullet or use mirrors and smoke. Macie finally got her own voice back.

"H-h-how did you?" The masked man turned a curious face to the girl in the window.

"Grow my jaw back? Yeah I have this healing factor that is just about the most amazing thing ever. Wolvie is super jealous, he said so a few issues ago. Well actually he stabbed us through the brain, but it's like the same thing with him."

_Oh my god, he's a superhero! _

"A superhero?" Macie asked Babbles but the man in the torn mask laughed.

"Well I think I'm pretty awesome but I'm no superhero, more of a super mercenary." Before Macie or Babbles could react the man was gone.

_Where did he go? I WANTED TO TALK TO HIM SOME- _Just then he reappeared right outside the window. Macie screamed and launched herself across the room. She flew away from the window and managed to land, hard, on her back, slamming her head against her hardwood floor. Pain shot through the back of Macie's head and she let out a small squeak of pain.

_Don't worry, we are still here. _The bald teen groaned andslowly sat up. The red masked man was peering through the bars on Macie's window, his masked eyebrows raised with an almost cocky grin on his face.

"Well, well, if it isn't a caged little birdie." The large man rapped a knuckle against the bars on Macie's window.

_Well hello Mr. Muscular and Mysterious. _Macie stood and made her way toward the window, cautiously.

"I'm only here because S.H.I. . knows I need to be," she said.

**And because she's too afraid to do anything about it. **Macie raised a hand to press against her scarred ear and shrugged at the man outside her window.

9


	2. Chapter 2

I'm supposed to introduce myself or something so hello, I'm the other author-person, and I never use my fanfiction-dot-net account) **Bold text** for the yellow boxes and _italics_ for the white, and thanks for reading)

From "I'm only here because S.H.I.E.L.D. knows I need to be" and for the following five minutes, rampant Beach Boys lyrics floated through Wade's head. He saw himself, in his mind, asking the girl where she'd like to be, if not here, and "Kokomo" was only a half-step up from that note, of course.

**Aruba, Jamaica-**

_Ooh, I wanna take ya to Bermuda, Bahama-_

"Co-ome on, pretty mama," he sung in a mumble under his breath, and the bald girl inside the apartment whose fire escape Wade was currently residing on was looking at him like he was some sort of child molester or something. He could see how a person could think that- the more someone got to know him, in fact, the _more _they might come to such a conclusion- but, in spite of the myriad horrendous things that he was, Wade was clear, at least, in the sex offender category.

Not to say that he hadn't ever made the list. But that'd been an accident, a separate incident entirely.

He might have asked her where she wanted to be, anyway, if he'd been in a relatively normal state of mind. Today wasn't one of those sort of days, though, and killing a few dozen people not ten minutes prior hadn't exactly made him feel more about things. So, yeah, he opened his mouth intending to introduce himself. What came out was something more like, "Yo, you should fly away, little bird, if you don't dig this place."

It was _kind of _what Wade had intended to say, anyway. The girl's mouth opened and no sound came out, so he continued, examining the bars on her window, "I could break these. But you probably could, too, right?" He tilted his head. "So why haven't you?" A thought occurred to him. "This isn't a trap, right?" He narrowed his eyes in suspicion at the kid.

"How can I prove it's not?" she asked, her green eyes wide as she stared at him. At least she wasn't running and hiding from him. That was always a plus, except when Wade was feeling antisocial.

That was an easy answer, at least. "Break the bars yourself." Wade crossed his arms, cocking an eyebrow.

_Tell me what we're doing here again?_

**No fucking idea.**

_Of course._

The caged bird looked to be having an internal argument with herself. Which Wade could understand, of course. He waited patiently, watching as her face went from angry to amiable to ambivalent, and then as the lights behind her eyes were neatly shut off with a zap of energy to her scarred ear.

"Hm." He brought his gloved fingers to his chin, feeling where his mask had torn and where his jaw had healed. Not exactly straight, but good enough. He tried squeezing on it to make it fit better in place, but it was probably too late for that. Ah, well. He'd get shot again soon enough, probably. And he was used to having screwed-up body parts. It was kind of a fact of life, wasn't it? For him, anyway.

"You might get hit, so you should probably move," the girl spoke up finally.

He waved her off. "I trust you." Not really. "And besides, I can take a hit." He grinned, and it probably looked grotesque to the point of making a weaker person throw up at the sight of it, but the girl didn't swerve. A good sign.

_So, what, she wants to leave, and you're letting her? What if she's dangerous?_

**You forgot that I don't give a shit either way. **

_True. _

"I guess we're just winging it," Wade mumbled, awkwardly fingering the exposed flesh of his face. Didn't he have an extra mask on him somewhere...? He searched, absentmindedly, through the pouches of his torn belt, tossing aside a pinned hand grenade and a box of gun ammunition before finally finding a wadded-up spare. He donned it like a king might a crown, but felt more like a virgin covering up her body from an approaching rapist. He didn't let the thought stay, choosing to cover it up with more humming as the girl sent a messy stream of light shooting for the bars.

She hadn't been trained, he noted. She could blast things away well enough, but a constant shot of whatever the hell was melting and cutting away at the metal bars was difficult for her to keep up.

"Off the Florida Ke-eys... there's a place called Kokomo... That's where you wanna go, to get away from it all..."

One bar fell to the fire escape floor, then two. Three. The light laser sputtered, throwing spare bullets of itself shooting off in different directions like a spray bottle. Wade rubbed his shoulder, but the pain, bad as it was, didn't last, at least.

"You're okay?"

"You want evidence?" he ground out in reply, flashing her a dangerous look. Of course, he had no intention of removing his uniform to show her.

"I'm sorry."

The light started up again, heading for the last two bars, more constant now. See, kid just needed a little practice. Wade picked up the hand grenade he'd tossed aside and threw it up in the air a few times, getting more impatient. The boxes only made him feel more edgy.

**Bodies in the sand...**

_Tropical drink melting in your hand-_

"Oh, put a damn sock in it," he growled at them. And with that, the last of the bars flew off the window, clattering off the edge of the fire escape before falling to the concrete alley below, landing between two bloody gang-member bodies. He gave an appreciative whistle as the kid crawled out the window, wearing some flowy-type white dress that at least didn't trip her up. That was all he could say for the thing, even if he did like it.

"Scratch the bird thing, I'm calling you Wendy," Wade decided, fixing his torn belt as best he could around his waist. "You know how to fly, Wendy? Or do you need fairy dust for that?"

"It's Macie, actually," the kid corrected him.

"So, you think you're up for the life of a mercenary, huh?"

"Um," she said. "Okay?"

Wade scratched his now-thankfully-covered-up chin. "I think I can take on an intern. You like paperwork?"

"I don't know."

"That's alright. Dare me to jump off this thing?" he asked, glancing over the edge of the fire escape. The issue wouldn't be the landing so much as avoiding ending up on top of a corpse or three. But maybe that'd just cushion the fall.

"We should probably just take the stairs," Macie said politely. Wade glanced at them at nodded, his arms crossed across his chest.

"I can dig it. You coming?" he asked over his shoulder. He was already at the floor below her.

"Yeah," she said slowly, looking really rather ghostly in the light of the moon. Her hairless head was as pale as her dress. "I guess so."

And she grinned, and it was beautiful.

As many people as Wade had killed, he still didn't have enough disrespect for the dead to play hopscotch over the Conquistadors' bodies. The two of them skirted the scene, him with one hand on a holster just in case they came across someone he'd missed before.

"Where are we going?" Macie asked after five minutes.

"Food, collection, getting you something more kickass-action-movie to wear, not necessarily in that order. You hungry?"

"Not really."

"That can wait, then. We can get my money from the Conquistador killing tomorrow or something; I'm feeling incredibly antisocial right now... I guess that just leaves the latter, eh?"

"Logically, yes."

"Bitchin'." He yanked open one of the pouches on his belt and pulled out a police radio, flipping the on switch. Silence. "I had a sidekick once," he considered out loud, because after a minute of it the quiet was making him feel queasy. Today was definitely a messy day.

"How'd that go?"

"He blew up my house."

"Oh."

"I never liked Christopher much anyway. Bob is better. He's alright."

Macie nodded, probably having no idea who the hell he was talking about, but he didn't feel like explaining things right now, and she hadn't asked, anyway. Which was nice of her.

He paused midstep on the sidewalk. "I can trust you, right?" Not that her answer would prove anything. He still wanted to ask.

"I promise not to blow up your house," the girl offered.

Wade grinned, yanking out a sword from the holster on his back and thrusting it next to Macie's chin. "I don't have one right now, but that _was _kind of funny. So I'll think about it."

"What?"

"Trusting you." He let the blade fall back into its sheath. Before anyone could say anything else, the police radio at his belt spoke up, fuzzily declaring their room for the night was sealed and ready to be vacated by the police. He noted the address before flipping the radio off.

"Just a few blocks from here," he told the girl, and they started moving faster.

"This is kind of like _Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist_," Wade said as he inspected the fridge of some unfortunate murder victim's house. "Just with less sanity and no romance. Do you sing?" he asked Macie.

She was on the living room couch, trying not to sit on any of the bloodstained parts. "Sometimes. I don't know many songs."

"Dazzle me, sister." There was a single can of beer hidden in the back behind the orange juice. He grabbed it and cradled it in his hand like it was his baby. He pushed any spare thoughts of children away from his mind, refusing to go there now, this late at night. It'd only make the memories worse, if they came back.

"Now?" Macie's voice was a squeak, a mouse in the dark.

Wade started to answer, then paused, narrowing his eyes at something on the kitchen counter. "You think a cappuccino machine would be a good birthday present?" They were expensive as shit, he knew, compared to coffee machines. So that was something.

"I guess so?"

He considered the thing. "Nah, but Spidey doesn't strike me as the type." He opened his mouth to say something else, then stuffed the can of beer into his waistband and leaped up the stairs, searching around the bedrooms of the place until he found what he was looking for. He came back to the living room a minute later, cargo pants hanging over one arm and a shirt and jacket over the other.

"There's more upstairs if this doesn't fit," Wade said, offering the clothes to the girl.

She nodded, taking them. "This isn't... evidence or anything, right?"

"They would have taken them if they were." Probably. He watched her leave the room to go change and then flopped onto the couch, ignoring the bloodstains and the floor chalk. The room was dark without him being able to turn on the lights; it would have drawn attention to their presence in the house. So, moonlight it was, allowing him only the shapes of the living room furniture. Whatever.

He went over plans in his head as he waited for the girl to come back, calculating distances- Detroit to New York, to Chicago- and time- Spider-man's birthday in a month or so, the collection tomorrow. Things to do: find a gift, find a ride, use the bathroom. He could do the last one with relative ease, at least.

When he got out his spot on the couch had been claimed again, so Wade settled in the chair next to it.

"There're two bedrooms upstairs that you can pick from; I don't care which," he told her. "No one knows we're here, so we're alright there. Just have to get up early enough." She nodded. "So what songs do you know?" he asked, giving her an expectant look through the mask. If his face didn't convey it, his body might, at least. "Does running around with a killer frighten you in the least?" he continued, tilting his head in curiosity. But maybe she just didn't get out much and didn't know better.

Macie raised her eyebrows and said, "What do you mean? Wouldn't anyone leave, if Peter Pan came to their window?"

He didn't mean to, but he burst out laughing at that, and then she did, too.

Wade didn't remember asking for a song until early the next morning, when the sun was just starting to rise and let off light and he woke up to the sound of the girl singing. His first reaction was to whip out a gun; luckily, he remembered his new companion soon enough that he didn't shoot her through the wall. That might have sucked.

He got up and peered through the doorway of her room, where she was humming and flipping through some woman's closet, intermittently tossing a shirt or a pair of pants on the bed until there was a decent-sized pile there.

"I've never heard that one before," he said, and she jumped guiltily. He waved her on, but waited at the door for her answer.

"You've never heard 'Somewhere Only the Rainbow'?"

Wade glared. "Got an issue with that?"

"I guess not." The girl withdrew a set of clothes from her pile and headed past him, setting out for the bathroom, apparently. He didn't get it until she came out a few minutes later, showered and fully dressed. The new outfit was a hell of a lot more mission-suitable, at least, than the dress. But that wasn't why he rolled his eyes, although she didn't see what with the mask and all.

The kid was wearing only red and black, and looked, quite literally, dressed to kill.


End file.
